One Hour Photo
Now that I have an agent, I only have two more of my stated goals to achieve: get paid acting work and become Fabulously Successful.
Getting an agent can be a key to the former, if not the latter. But first I had to tell her what I was and wasn’t interested in doing. Theatre – yes; theatre in education – no. Feature films – yes; student films – no. Indies – yes; undies – no.
Towards the objective of getting paid acting work, I have gone on a few auditions. The first was really just a photo shoot. I told Cheri about the audition.
“It’s for Fitnesse, you know, the cereal.”
“Oh wow, you got an audition for a serial!”
“No, not a serial. A cereal. You know, breakfast – the most important meal of the day?”
“Right. Yeah, that’s great. Uhh, breakfast is important.”
I don’t know why I was even sent on the audition. I’m not a model. No matter how much America’s Next Top Model I watch, I still can’t seem to get the poses right. (Note to self: must learn to use self timer on digital camera.)
As it turned out, they wanted “real-looking” people, not models, so they put the call out to actors. At the audition, I had to fill in the standard form: shirt size, dress size, trouser size, shoe size, height, weight, age. It all feels a bit demeaning. Once they have me on film, why do they need all those other things? If they are going to do the casting based on size, then why not just ask my agent to fax the details and save me the trek to Kentish Town?
I see the photographer’s assistant hand the next girl in line a form to sign. She took a dubious glance at the questions.
“It’s for wardrobe,” the assistant clarified.
I pretended not to notice or care, as if I’d filled out similar forms a hundred times before.
When I got called into the studio, I was expecting to walk onto the set of a full photo shoot. It was just one woman, one camera, no special lighting.
“What’s your age?”
I lied.
“Okay, face the front.”
I tried what I hoped would be a flattering pose.
“No, just keep your head straight and face the camera straight on.”
I did.
“Now turn sideways.”
“Like a mug shot?”
“Ha ha, yeah, sort of. Okay, that’ll be all.”
Afterwards I called my agent: photo shoots – no.
